We were quite the sight. It was like Bollywood meets Santa — a loud group of Indian immigrants and their children smashed together in a single living room around a Christmas tree. Every year as a child we would drive hours from our home in Canada to the States to spend Christmas visiting with my mother’s 5 siblings, their families and my grandmother. Most often we would gather under one roof at my uncle’s house near Chicago where my grandmother also lived, brought together by our desire to see her and her desire to have us all together as a…

I had a dream last night. I was at a presidential party, dressed in a beautiful blue ballgown. I was a well mannered guest until the president stood up for a toast, beginning to tout his achievements and proclaiming a win over the pandemic. Shocked, I stood up in the middle of his monologue and started screaming expletives at him like a wild woman. Then suddenly I was sobbing and my screaming became more incomprehensible. While I don’t remember all the details, I can recall parts of my rant: “How could you? You have put us all in this position…

I have spent a lot of energy being angry over the past few months — however, I have progressed to spending more days feeling burned out and defeated than I would like to admit. Baring witness, over and over to the gaslighting against science and medicine has led to literal mental exhaustion. Though frustrated, I can see that I am not alone — as many have read, earlier this month in an unprecedented move the New England Journal of Medicine published an editorial speaking against the current climate of science naysaying, unequivocally stating that the pandemic has been mishandled and…

Call me ignorant or disengaged but I didn’t bother watching the first presidential debate live on TV last night. I already know where my vote will land — my parents always taught me that your vote is no one’s business to know, but I think if anyone knows me as a person they know the box I’ll check. Even still, I frankly am fearing election day — while I pray that the reign of ridiculousness will be over, I also worry any outcome will cause chaos.

So, instead I spent my evening numbing my brain, watching a scandalous series on…

During an interview on the wellbeing of healthcare workers, a reporter asked me how I felt about my mental health as things were opening up in Illinois. I was experiencing a slow return to normalcy in my worklife, seeing patients return to the Emergency Department for what we call our “bread and butter” cases — presentations I felt comfortable and familiar with, like chest pain, abdominal pain or urinary complaints. …

I am more exhausted than I have ever been in my life

Tired South Asian mother holding her sleeping daughter.
Tired South Asian mother holding her sleeping daughter.
Photo: uniquely india/Getty Images

Some days I find myself watching the clock too often, waiting for my kids’ bedtime. I really hate myself those days, knowing that I’m anxiously awaiting the moment they are tucked into bed.

I really am obsessed with my children, just like every mother. I take every opportunity to hug and kiss them and remind them that I love them. But I am crushed under my burdens these days. And I know as a working mother, I am not alone here.

It’s been several months since my children have been stuck at home and out of in-person learning, and in…

Written by Meeta Shah MD and Inna Husain MD

Originally published at https://www.kevinmd.com on June 15, 2020.

Over the last few days, physicians and nurses across the country have taken a knee, galvanized by the recent death of George Floyd, as well as the disproportionate effect of the coronavirus pandemic on African-American families. The White Coats for Black Lives movement firmly identifies racism as a public health issue and calls on everyone in the health care system to take action.

As physicians, we can see what role we have in fighting this injustice; however, as South Asians, we know that…

EDITED TO ADD UPDATE: This story was written prior to George Floyd’s final autopsy report was released by the Medical Examiner and an Independent Forensics Investigation. The below explanation is helpful in understanding the findings.

Over the past few months to years I have watched the slow desecration of medicine by others. As an Emergency Physician of over 10 years, I have become used to witnessing the misleading spin of nonmedical professionals on topics in our field of expertise. Despite my desensitization, I have found that some of the false interpretations of the summary of George Floyd’s preliminary autopsy in…

Growing Up Brown. A Personal Reflection to “Never Have I Ever”

I spend an entire night binge watching Mindy Kaling’s teenage angst dramady “Never Have I Ever” on Netflix. The aftermath was me, with a swollen face and red eyes recovering from the emotional whiplash I suffered from watching this series. The morning after I told my American-born-to-Indian-immigrants husband that he needed to watch it, and began crying telling him the tale of Devi. He unsuccessfully tried to hide his fear that it was going to be “one of those days” with his crazy wife.

As a first born Indian…

Meeta Shah

I write to stay sane. Lover of Sarcasm. Multi-tasking is my life: Mother, Doctor, Health IT, Wellness, Writer. @msmemesha

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